


Scared Of My Own Image (Scared I'll Die Of Uncertainty)

by troubledsouls



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Lots of Angst, Post-Pacifist Route, ace/aro character, i made up a thing for this its a cute idea that brings angst, sans runs away, sans tells papyrus he doesn't trust him in the worst way possible, skelebros angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-03 05:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5278277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledsouls/pseuds/troubledsouls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toriel is in love with Sans. </p>
<p>Sans doesn't know why, but the mere thought of that sends a fear-like uncomfortableness rising in his chest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story title from doubt by twenty one pilots
> 
> Next chapters should be longer? Who knows I don't probably varying lengths

“Sans?” Toriel said kindly as she wound down from her laughter. The two were currently in a pun-off, with Sans firmly in the lead. 

“yeah, tori?” Sans said, grin still stretched onto his face. 

“I think I'm in love with you.”

“love ya too, tori. youre the best friend a skeleton like me could ask for.”

“No, Sans.” Toriel laughed again, a beautiful sound that Sans thought he could listen to forever. “I'm in love with you.”

“oh.” Sans tilted his head, grin fading slightly. “like, as in, romantically?” A sick-like feeling settled in his nonexistent stomach. 

“Yes, of course!”

Sans didn't realize what he was doing until he was out the door and stumbling off into the forest near Toriel’s house, breath coming in short puffs, vision blurred. He was panicking, why was he panicking?

Branches scraped against his jacket, tearing it in places as he ran. Tears began to fall thick and fast, and finally, Sans collapsed onto the leaf-covered forest floor and began to sob. 

He was scared. 

Why was he scared? There was no reason for him to be scared. Papyrus was never subtle about how much he thought Sans and Toriel should be together, hell, even Asgore gave them looks that suggested he thought they were dating. 

But Sans like Toriel as a friend, nothing more. Thinking of anything beyond friendship made his feel something he could only describe as scared, even though that wasn't what it was at all. 

He pulled his hood up over his head and cried until he couldn't cry any more, and then he slept.

* * *

“SANS?”

Sans groaned, bones stiff from being on the ground. “whats up, pap?”

“SANS, ARE YOU OKAY? TORIEL SAID YOU RAN OFF. EVERYONES WORRIED, NOBODY ELSE COULD FIND YOU.” Sans looked up to see Papyrus crouching on the ground beside him. 

“found me via a twin connection, huh?” Sans groaned and rolled onto his back. 

“...SOMETHING LIKE THAT.”

Sans pushed himself up into a sitting position. “sorry.”

“YOU HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR.”

“i probably scared the shit out of tori… whats wrong with me?” Sans buried his face in his hands. 

“CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?”

“we were joking and having fun and she told me she loved me as more than a friend!” Even remembering it sent the same fear-like feeling rising in Sans’ chest. “i panicked, even thinking about it makes me panic, whats wrong with me?” Sans began to cry again. 

“OH, SANS.” Papyrus pulled Sans into a hug, letting his brother cry against his chest. “NOTHINGS WRONG WITH YOU, I PROMISE.”

“but i love toriel! and i love you and frisk and undyne and alphys and all our friends… but as friends! and they love me back as friends too but toriel… toriel _loves_ me.” Sans babbled. “i bet she wants a relationship but… i dont! thinking about it makes me feel so… scared, but that's not the word at all! pap, am I broken?”

“ITS PERFECTLY FINE TO NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE! ME AND FRISK, EVEN THOUGH WE WENT ON A DATE, WE DIDN'T LOVE EACH OTHER IN A ROMANTIC WAY! AND THEN I MET METTATON. MAYBE YOU'LL MEET THE PERSON FOR YOU?” Papyrus suggested. “AFTER ALL, YOU ARE A VERY CHARMING SKELETON, I’M SURE YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE.”

Sans froze up at that. “no, no i… i dont…” He pushed himself away from Papyrus and stood up. “i dont want a relationship, pap! it scares me!”

“MAYBE IT JUST SCARES YOU WITH TORIEL?”

Tears streamed down Sans’ cheeks. “just… leave me alone!”

“SANS! SANS WAIT!”

But Sans was already running, being more mindful of where he was going this time. He wanted to lose Papyrus, lose everyone, because they didn't understand!

Sans didn't understand either, but he didn't admit that to himself, because then he'd want to run away from that too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some skelebros angst next chapter

Sans preferred running when he was scared of stuff. It made him feel like he was actually getting away from the thing. 

He could just not go back. It had been almost five years since they'd returned to the surface, and even though monster racists were definitely still around, it was normal for monsters to live, work, and exist alongside humans. 

Sans had enough money to rent an apartment far, far away from Toriel and Papyrus and everyone he knew. He could get a new job. 

It would require effort. Actually working. Not slacking off like he had for so many timelines. 

Sans didn't know what to do. Anxiety plagued his every thought. He shouldn't have run, but that had been on impulse, and Sans had almost zero impulse control. He couldn't face Toriel, she’d be hurt and ask too many questions. He'd run away from Papyrus, and Papyrus would pry and feel bad when it was really Sans’ fault. 

Maybe living away from them, getting up the strength to work, gain back his motivation. That seemed like a good course of action. 

He should return. 

He shouldn't, Toriel probably hated him now, Papyrus would hate him, everyone would hate him because he was a coward. 

Sans slowed his running to a stop, breath coming in short pants. 

They could never hate him, they were his friends, they might understand…

They wouldn't understand. Never. How could they? Sans was a freak, afraid of love, afraid, afraid, afraid!

Sans let out a strangled cry and brought his hands to the sides of his skull. 

“Hello?”

Sans looked up, left eye glowing a bright blue, wisps of a smoke-like substance coming off it. 

A human, probably about Frisk’s age, peered at Sans from where they sat in a tree. “You okay, skeleton?”

“‘m fine, kid.” Sans lowered his hands and willed his magic to die down. He hadn't even meant to activate it in the first place. 

“You don't look fine.” The kid swung down onto a lower branch and tilted their head. 

“well, i promise you, i’m fine.” 

“What's your name, skeleton?”

“sans.”

“Mine’s Kyle.” They made a face. “It's gendered, but I can't think of a neutral one that fits me.”

“and you’re telling me this why?”

“Do skeletons even have genders?”

Sans snorted in slight laughter. “i wish we didnt, kid. would make a lot of things a lot easier.”

“How do you tell?” Kyle swung to a lower branch, then dropped to the ground. “Do skeletons even have sex characteristics?”

“what.”

“Like, outward characteristics defined by whether you have XX or XY chromosomes.” They straightened up. 

“kid…”

“Sorry, I'm just curious.”

“curiosity killed the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought it back.”

“youre good. leaf me alone.”

“Nice pun.” 

“im serious, kid. leave me alone.”

“You're the first monster I've ever talked to. My parents keep me away from them. It's a shame, really, you don't seem all that bad.”

“if i answer your question will you leave me alone?”

“Maybe. I might want to hang around. This part of the forest is my territory.”

“oh really?”

“Yeah.”

Sans sighed. “im not gonna answer your question. i gotta get going.”

“Where are you going?”

“none of your business.” Sans turned away from Kyle. 

“Can I come with?” 

“kid.” Sans darkened his eye sockets and looked back at Kyle. “i s a i d l e a v e m e a l o n e .”

Kyle froze. “Whoa. How can you do that?”

A blue flame began to blossom in Sans’ left eye. “s h u t u p .”

“Make me.”

Sans whipped around and thrust out his left arm, pulling out Kyle’s soul and turning it blue. They fell to their knees. 

“d o n t m e s s w i t h a s c a r e d m o n s t e r .” Sans released them, and they got to their feet and took off in the opposite direction. 

Sans let his magic die, stunned at himself. 

Why had he done that?

He was a freak.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the idea of choosing your own soulmate

Sans sat down against a tree, well away from where he had met the human. 

He shut his eye sockets, internalizing his magic and focusing it around his SOUL. 

There was something special that monsters could do if their magic was powerful enough - create something called a SOULBOND. It was an invisible, magical connection between souls, enabling the two BONDed monsters to be able to find each other, wherever they were. 

Sans had made a BOND with Papyrus after a bad snowstorm left Papyrus stranded in the woods for far too long. 

Making a BOND was serious. 

Breaking one even more so. 

Sans reached along the BOND and located Papyrus. He seemed to be at Toriel’s, worried, and about to leave again. 

Sans didn't want anyone to find him. 

He carefully charged up his magic, and in a quick ‘movement’, snapped the BOND.

* * *

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT I SAID TO- HHH.” Papyrus cut himself off with a huff of air and he felt something magical inside him break. 

“Papyrus, are you alright?” Toriel placed a hand on his shoulder, concerned. 

Papyrus knew immediately what had happened. “SANS, HE, OH MY GOD. HE MUST BE ANGRY WITH ME OR SOMETHING! HE DOESNT WANT TO BE FOUND OH NO WHAT DID I SAY?”

Toriel pulled out her phone and quickly called Sans.

He didn't answer. 

“OH MY GOD I SHOULDN’T HAVE GONE AFTER HIM OH MY GOD OH NO-”

“Papyrus.” Toriel pulled the hysterical skeleton into a close hug. “Papyrus, what happened?”

Papyrus began to sob. “HE BROKE IT, HE PROMISED HE NEVER WOULD BREAK IT HE MADE ME PROMISE NOT TO BREAK IT!”

“What did he break?” Toriel asked quietly. 

“Our BOND.” Papyrus’ voice suddenly got very quiet. “Oh my god, Toriel, he broke our _BOND_.”

* * *

Sans breathed heavily, sweat building up on his skull. He felt as if he was missing something. 

He knew exactly what that was. 

God, he was an idiot, idiot, idiot. Papyrus would be freaking out, probably so scared, so betrayed. 

Sans was an idiot. 

He didn't deserve his charming brother. 

He was a freak who couldn't love anybody. 

He should _die_. 

Sans’ eye sockets snapped open. That last one was new, and it chilled him to his SOUL. 

He had to ignore that, it wouldn't do him any favors down the road. 

Sans pulled himself to his feet, using the tree trunk for support. He had to find civilization, this forest couldn't go on forever. He needed to… to…

What did he need to do?

Sans had no idea. 

He had no plans, other than never returning. 

His phone rang. 

He checked it. 

Toriel. 

He ignored it. 

What could he do?

_Die._

No. 

_DIE._

Shut up. 

Sans began walking, humming a song to himself as he went. He was glad he hadn't been wearing his slippers when he ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONDs are a way to signify complete and absolute trust in each other. Sometimes used to signify marriage, BONDs are more commonly found between best friends. BONDs can be removed if both monsters with it choose to break it at the same time, but breaking a BOND from one end signifies a break of trust so absolute that they may as well be enemies.


End file.
